its christmas eve

don't know why.. this Christmas eve feels weird.. feeling so tired.. so troubled.. still brooding over it i guess.. sigh..

basketball, tv, magazines and my daily bread
spent the morning playing ball.. came home.. realised that i was all alone at home.. mum and eric at grandma's for Christmas celebrations.. didn't felt like going.. dad was at work.. spent the afternoon readin mags, and did my own Bible reading.. felt, relatively.. empty.. like, lost..? actually planned to go out with siewling.. then she was kinda lazy to leave her place, and i also felt that everywhere else would be really crowded.. so both stayed home.. she's been updating her new blog..! check it out.. http://a-gal-at-heart.blogspot.com/

looking forward to tomorrow
just realised that it took my 3secs to think, how to spell 'tomorrow'.. been using 'tmr' so such a looooooong time.. darn! haha.. well, would be meeting up with friends tmr.. really hope things would be different.. really pray that, i can have peace in me, and just have fun.. don't want to sour everyone's day..

mum hasn't got over it yet, i think
i've got this very strong feeling, that, mum hasn't really got over jessica yet.. i don't know why, but, she usually changes her handbags when she goes out to match her clothes.. but, for the past 2 weeks, she's been using the purple hand-made jess and i bought her for mother's day.. asked her why doesn't she change it.. she said: "xi huan ma.. xi huan jiu bu yao huan lo.." didn't ask any further..

dreams, memories
watched this really old movie earlier in the afternoon.. i think its called "never-ending story". its about this boy, bastian, from the real world got sucked into the "story-book" world to save the world from evil.. used to watch it when i was real young.. like, primary school?

the bad guy of the movie was the evil witch(she looked quite good though.. woops!), who cast a spell of "emptiness" on the story world, slowly destroying it.. and bastian was under the spell too.. each time he makes a wish, it comes true, but, at the expense of one piece of valuable memory.. at the end, making him an 'empty' person..

isn't it so true? that, we human are created so amazingly? unlike story book characters who don't have chronicles, we can have memories.. the ability to recall, and reflect upon what has passed.. though memories are what we consider history, yet, they are the very evidence of what we've experienced.. be it good, bad, sweet, sad, memories stay with us for a very long time.. when we think back, sometimes, we smile, sometimes we sigh; sometimes we feel happy, sometimes we regret..

but no matter what, if i could, i would want to remember everything, every second of my life.. how my family laugh together at some lame show; what crap stuff the 6ist talk about each time we meet; how it feels to hold someone tight, how it feels to kiss, how it feels to just share a silent minute with someone i love..

memories, i want to cherish and remember them..

the diary, the chocolate, the turtle necked shirt and the Hillsong CD
sent jess a parcel 2 weeks back.. wonder if she got it.. sigh.. wondering if she read the diary, or just chucked it somewhere.. it was a diary, which was named after her.. and started writing one week after she left.. accounting the daily happenings of my life.. stopped writing 3 weeks back.. wonder, what would she do to it.. *sighs*

are we still friends? i'm worried..