well, its the start of the new cbt medic crs.. started on the 19th of december.. dragged my feet back to camp in the morning.. its gonna be a vicious cycle of late nights, rushing schedules, and not to forget a vicious bunch of trainess to handle..
unexpected 'weight-loss programme'
well, after the gruelling 2 weeks of unintended puking and loss of sleep, i got the shock of my life when i stood on the weighing balance on monday morning! goodness, i loss 6kg in 2 weeks! and probably 1inch off my waist! well, probably its a blessing in disguise.. always wanted to lose some weight.. guess, i managed that.. through this... erm.. undesirable manner.. =)
the friendship bend snapped
if i've not mistaken.. jess made me this friendship bend.. 1 month into our relationship.. it was made of orange, blue, white, and lime green.. really unique, the way it was made.. with little twirls around the bend.. amazing.. i tied it around my left ankle since then, and has never came off.. til this morning.. while trying to put on my green army socks, the bend snapped.. upon examination, it seems that its cause by the frequent friction against my skin..
is it an indication to me, that, its time to really move on? and, give up this hope? i don't know.. and i don't want to think about it.. guess, i'll just take each day at a time.. entrusting it to God.. for He will give the best, to who ever believes in Him.. i'll try and not to think about it.. i AM trying..
familiar faces, same old place, yet, a total different feeling
when i stepped back into bunk, i looked around.. nothing much has changed.. the cross-stitch i did for jess's still on the wooden cabinet.. the shoes are still placed where it used to be.. my bed-sheets, crumpled as ever.. my bunk mates, markus, neo, bernard, all seem the same.. still as crappy and lame as ever.. perhaps only the stains of my tears have gone, while the rest remains unchanged.. 'nothing much has changed', i told myself, 'its just gonna be another day at work. let's get it over and done with.'
NO. i was wrong. when i opened my metal cabinet, i got sucked right back into history again. photos of us, stuck onto my mirror.. letters she wrote for our anniversaries were still pasted on the back side of the cabinet door.. and the little photo album , which i promised to carry everywhere i go, was staring at me, at the top shelf of my cupboard.. memories started filling up my thought.. startled, i started praying.. praying that i don't get back into depression.. praying that, the Lord would give me strength to move on, and perform my daily duties to my best abilities..
i've placed the photos and the album into the drawer.. as for the letters, guess i'll place them there to remind of her from time to time.. guess, to remind me, how wonderful that 1 year was.. and, to urge me to move on..
uncontrollable gazes at my handphones
i've got no idea why.. throughout these 2 days, i kept taking my phones out my pocket to look at them.. to check if there were messages.. usually, during the morning and afternoon, she would msg, and we would chat about everything.. from her work, to my work.. everything.. just spending time together while she does her homeowork and i got my stuff done.. now, i don't think there would be such msgs coming in.. yet, i still couldn't help, just taking them out to check.. having this faith and hope, that she would msg.. that i would see 0900**** in my inbox.. guess, not..
getting more vocal in front of the platoon
well, this's apparently my 4th batch of trainees.. having trained around a few hundred trainees before this, the experience and knowledge i've gained has encouraged me to be more vocal in front of the trainees.. realised that i talked a lot, said tonnes of lame jokes.. keeping their spirits high.. perhaps, its also the idea of wanting to move on, makes me more enthusiastic in my work..
jessica called
yeaps. she called this morning.. while we were having a break at the mess.. we talked, asking how were each other.. was really surprised when she called.. or rather, shocked.. i totally didn't expect her to call.. well, she's doing great.. her finals were fantastic! history 99.8%, econs 94+% and math 70+%.. really happy for her.. felt kinda.. weird talking to her too.. our conversations usually would be filled with 'i love you' s and 'i miss you' s.. now, just a friend-friend talk.. she sounded really calm and.. peaceful.. wondering how is she really handling this.. seperation.. does she feel as painful too? or perhaps more? wish i could take some pain off her.. guess, all i can do now, is to pray.. that God would help her over this tough period of time.. i know He will.. He loves us all.. and He's been blessing her cause she loves Him so much too.. guess, i don't have to worry THAT much..
oh, her net is down again.. so for those who are waiting for her emails and msns, please be patient.. her net has got some problems, so she's unable to log on.. =)
jenjera called
haa.. jenjera, jessica's sister called.. asked if i could help her this friday.. accompany her get her sec sch textbooks.. well, why not? haha.. so, gonna take half day off from camp.. bring her to her school.. she's praying that she won't get to north vista school, cause its really out of the way.. =) would be praying for her too.. would be bringing her christmas shopping after that too.. with all the books and stuff.. urgh.. owell! for the fun of it! =) gonna get gifts for family and friends too!
jerry's birthday!
well, realised that we didn't sing a birthday song for him!! haha.. happy birthday to you! happy birthday to you! happy birthday to Jerry! happy birthday to you!! God bless...!
went for dinner with jerry, bud, siewling and belinda.. had some real fun.. especially when we were talking at macs.. all those funny jokes jerry was saying.. like... LAME!! but, seriously funny..
can't really remember all of them.. but, some are really.. "unpostable".. hehe.. only this one.. i can remember.. might be okay.. it goes: why is superman's shirt so tight fit? because its size S! yeah.. i know.. lame.. but, owell.. we had a real good laugh.. especially siewling.. =) she was kinda slow at certain jokes, yet, sometimes her laughter could be quite.. contagious.. to me at least.. =p thanks Jerry..! wish you all the best in your army days! no worries, they'll give you bday off for your next 2 bdays.. and you spend them well with your beloooooved gf.. =) God bless!
blur vision.. tired..
well, another day at work tmr.. looking forward to the weekend.. christmas! sigh.. wonder how it would be this year.. thought we would still be "kissin under the mistletoes".. guess, have to save my kisses for now.. =)
unexpected 'weight-loss programme'
well, after the gruelling 2 weeks of unintended puking and loss of sleep, i got the shock of my life when i stood on the weighing balance on monday morning! goodness, i loss 6kg in 2 weeks! and probably 1inch off my waist! well, probably its a blessing in disguise.. always wanted to lose some weight.. guess, i managed that.. through this... erm.. undesirable manner.. =)
the friendship bend snapped
if i've not mistaken.. jess made me this friendship bend.. 1 month into our relationship.. it was made of orange, blue, white, and lime green.. really unique, the way it was made.. with little twirls around the bend.. amazing.. i tied it around my left ankle since then, and has never came off.. til this morning.. while trying to put on my green army socks, the bend snapped.. upon examination, it seems that its cause by the frequent friction against my skin..
is it an indication to me, that, its time to really move on? and, give up this hope? i don't know.. and i don't want to think about it.. guess, i'll just take each day at a time.. entrusting it to God.. for He will give the best, to who ever believes in Him.. i'll try and not to think about it.. i AM trying..
familiar faces, same old place, yet, a total different feeling
when i stepped back into bunk, i looked around.. nothing much has changed.. the cross-stitch i did for jess's still on the wooden cabinet.. the shoes are still placed where it used to be.. my bed-sheets, crumpled as ever.. my bunk mates, markus, neo, bernard, all seem the same.. still as crappy and lame as ever.. perhaps only the stains of my tears have gone, while the rest remains unchanged.. 'nothing much has changed', i told myself, 'its just gonna be another day at work. let's get it over and done with.'
NO. i was wrong. when i opened my metal cabinet, i got sucked right back into history again. photos of us, stuck onto my mirror.. letters she wrote for our anniversaries were still pasted on the back side of the cabinet door.. and the little photo album , which i promised to carry everywhere i go, was staring at me, at the top shelf of my cupboard.. memories started filling up my thought.. startled, i started praying.. praying that i don't get back into depression.. praying that, the Lord would give me strength to move on, and perform my daily duties to my best abilities..
i've placed the photos and the album into the drawer.. as for the letters, guess i'll place them there to remind of her from time to time.. guess, to remind me, how wonderful that 1 year was.. and, to urge me to move on..
uncontrollable gazes at my handphones
i've got no idea why.. throughout these 2 days, i kept taking my phones out my pocket to look at them.. to check if there were messages.. usually, during the morning and afternoon, she would msg, and we would chat about everything.. from her work, to my work.. everything.. just spending time together while she does her homeowork and i got my stuff done.. now, i don't think there would be such msgs coming in.. yet, i still couldn't help, just taking them out to check.. having this faith and hope, that she would msg.. that i would see 0900**** in my inbox.. guess, not..
getting more vocal in front of the platoon
well, this's apparently my 4th batch of trainees.. having trained around a few hundred trainees before this, the experience and knowledge i've gained has encouraged me to be more vocal in front of the trainees.. realised that i talked a lot, said tonnes of lame jokes.. keeping their spirits high.. perhaps, its also the idea of wanting to move on, makes me more enthusiastic in my work..
jessica called
yeaps. she called this morning.. while we were having a break at the mess.. we talked, asking how were each other.. was really surprised when she called.. or rather, shocked.. i totally didn't expect her to call.. well, she's doing great.. her finals were fantastic! history 99.8%, econs 94+% and math 70+%.. really happy for her.. felt kinda.. weird talking to her too.. our conversations usually would be filled with 'i love you' s and 'i miss you' s.. now, just a friend-friend talk.. she sounded really calm and.. peaceful.. wondering how is she really handling this.. seperation.. does she feel as painful too? or perhaps more? wish i could take some pain off her.. guess, all i can do now, is to pray.. that God would help her over this tough period of time.. i know He will.. He loves us all.. and He's been blessing her cause she loves Him so much too.. guess, i don't have to worry THAT much..
oh, her net is down again.. so for those who are waiting for her emails and msns, please be patient.. her net has got some problems, so she's unable to log on.. =)
jenjera called
haa.. jenjera, jessica's sister called.. asked if i could help her this friday.. accompany her get her sec sch textbooks.. well, why not? haha.. so, gonna take half day off from camp.. bring her to her school.. she's praying that she won't get to north vista school, cause its really out of the way.. =) would be praying for her too.. would be bringing her christmas shopping after that too.. with all the books and stuff.. urgh.. owell! for the fun of it! =) gonna get gifts for family and friends too!
jerry's birthday!
well, realised that we didn't sing a birthday song for him!! haha.. happy birthday to you! happy birthday to you! happy birthday to Jerry! happy birthday to you!! God bless...!
went for dinner with jerry, bud, siewling and belinda.. had some real fun.. especially when we were talking at macs.. all those funny jokes jerry was saying.. like... LAME!! but, seriously funny..
can't really remember all of them.. but, some are really.. "unpostable".. hehe.. only this one.. i can remember.. might be okay.. it goes: why is superman's shirt so tight fit? because its size S! yeah.. i know.. lame.. but, owell.. we had a real good laugh.. especially siewling.. =) she was kinda slow at certain jokes, yet, sometimes her laughter could be quite.. contagious.. to me at least.. =p thanks Jerry..! wish you all the best in your army days! no worries, they'll give you bday off for your next 2 bdays.. and you spend them well with your beloooooved gf.. =) God bless!
blur vision.. tired..
well, another day at work tmr.. looking forward to the weekend.. christmas! sigh.. wonder how it would be this year.. thought we would still be "kissin under the mistletoes".. guess, have to save my kisses for now.. =)
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